Thursday, January 31, 2008

A sudden, often repetitive, spasmodic contraction of the thoracic cavity.

Oh for fucks sake. I'm sick again. Same cold, but now with more mucus! I've got one of those really nasty coughs that comes from deep down in your chest and when you start hacking people back away from you. Which can be handy on the bus.

So I've been taking it easy on the couch, trying not to touch anything in case I make anyone else sick. I think it's all these British germs, that are new to my fragile American immune system, which have made me sick. I will be back in good form very soon because I have a supply of liquid antibiotics in the fridge. Yay! Tastes like chalk!

Which leads me nicely into...

What Tickles My Pickle About England is the NHS! The National Health Service is the publicly funded health care system in Britain and it cares not where your sick ass is from or how you got so damn sick in the first place. Get this, I'm lying in bed (again) feeling like a cat turd that's been run over (again) and don't want to talk on the phone. So Paul calls the "doctors surgery" for me and explains whats going on. They write me out a prescription, I go pick it up, I take it to the pharmacy and I get some drugs, which cost me next to nothing! I even got them to give me a new inhaler cause my other one is expired! What could be easier? No questions asked, no insurance to haggle with, no co-pays and no over priced drugs. Brilliant. I shall fear no illness again!

Personal Note to my sister Malia: It's like crack and it's here too: Britain's Next Top Model, but with lots more sass and ass.



Saturday, January 26, 2008

First Week (I think)

We just got here really, but it feels like we've been here for weeks. We have packed a lot in since January 15. We stayed at Paul's mom's house the first few days, which of course was a nightmare of mother-in-law proportions. Which is why we were quick to impose on our friends Terry and Stu. They have a seriously large Edwardian terrace house on the high street, it's beautiful and we are barely in the way. We have our own room, the internet, on demand cable and Stu is a fantastic cook.
Our new room

Our new roommates

A fine example of the typical English back garden also the view from our room
Just two days after setting up house at Terry & Stu's we were off to Newcastle so Paul could earn some money and I could convalesce after catching a nasty cold. I didn't get out much because it was snowing but I did manage to get myself to the window for a few photos. They don't do any justice to how beautiful Newcastle is, as we were staying in a more industrial area right by the arena.

This isn't a good shot but you can see the Metro Radio Arena (with the green roof) where Paul was working for the "Strictly Come Dancing" show. I had a peek at the show itself and I can only describe it as very cheesy and glittery. They should have called it "Strictly Come If You're Really Old And Like To Clap". I think it's like America's "Dancing With The Stars".

After all that work we figured we really deserved a break and some fun. We went into town where our friends were playing at St. Anne's Church. They reformed their band from college and played some of their old tunes. Just cause it was in a church doesn't mean there wasn't a bar opposite the stage.

We had wine and cheesecake with our friends Penny, Chris and their cat Lydia

It's so great to be staying at Terry and Stu's. I feel really grounded and secure here, which is the most important thing for my sanity right now. And Terry has a fantastic hairdryer for me to borrow. We can walk to Maria's house from here which will save us lot in taxi and bus fare. And it's also within walking distance of the local Sainsbury's (the grocery store) and some good pubs like the Prince Of Wales.
All in all we landed in the best situation we could ask for. I just hope Paul and I can find a place soon so we don't out stay our welcome. We have a viewing scheduled tomorrow for a house in Kings Heath .Yeah, it's not much to look at but you never know what lies behind the doors of terraced houses, they often surprise me. But since Kings Heath is such a popular area I reckon this one is so cheap (if you can call the equivalent of $1100 dollars per month "cheap") because the inside matches the outside. I'll keep you posted.

What Tickles My Pickle About England Is The BBC! The TV viewing here is amazing, especially for only having 5 channels. I could list off loads of great shows on offer here but instead I will share one random nights viewing that really stuck in my head. I was sick in the hotel in Newcastle with a runny nose, stuffy head and sore throat. All I wanted was to tuck into some crap telly. Now, I'm used to the states where even the no tell motels have free cable. But that's not really done here. So as soon as I was able to hunker down in bed and relax, I turned on the TV and quickly found that only 5 channels were available. Shit! How will I ever get over this cold with no cable TV?? But to my surprise I found not only one great thing to watch but three!! I was torn between "The Super Skinny & Super Sized" (a fascinating program about a really, really thin girl and a really, really fat woman who have to swap diets for a week. They cook the meals they normally would for themselves but then hand it over to the other person. The skinny girl had to eat 4-5 dinners through out the night), "Total Isolation" (I know! Let's see what happens when you put people in a totally dark room and not talk to them at all for 2 days! Brilliant! They all went crazy by the end), "Ladette To Lady" (this show is pure crap but that's exactly why you watch, they take a group of boozy, rude sluts and send them to finishing school at Eggleston Hall.) The only problem was that all these shows were on at once! What would you have picked?

Friday, January 25, 2008

Your mission, should you choose to accept...

I've been working on what I like to call replacement thinking. So when I start thinking of something that depresses me about England, I immediately replace the thought with something positive. Or if I find myself thinking about what I hated the last time I moved here, or some awful experienced I had last time, I stop myself and think instead about how much different this time will be. Not a revolutionary idea, but it seems to be working. It's difficult to always think positively. And it would be so easy to fall into a big pit of self pity. Sometimes self pity can be so rewarding. But it never gets me far for long.

I'm also trying my damnedest to make this move totally different from the last move. It's the same town, same people, same problems as last time. But last time it got the best of me. So I really am trying to, not only think of things differently, but also trying to be a different person. I want to be stronger and more open minded, more tolerant and clear headed.

In some ways I'm looking at this as a mission. I more or less had to make this move (it really was the right thing to do), Paul would have suffered greatly if I had put my foot down about staying in Portland. So I pretend I'm a secret agent sent here for a purpose, and must complete my mission. In real life my mission is to keep my head together and my purpose is to become a better person. But in my imagination I'm a super sexy secret agent sent to England to infiltrate the British people, become one of them and perhaps take down the monarchy.

Even if I wanted to leave I couldn't, so I just have to make sure I don't get myself in a state where I want to get the fuck outta dodge.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all stiff upper lip and emotional suppression for me. There are so many wonderful things about living here. Which is why I'm starting "What Tickles My Pickle About England". A quick little addition at the end of each blog entry about all the great things that make living in England really fucking cool and just that much more tolerable. I really do plan on getting at least one blog entry completed each week as long as I have internet access. And even if I don't have tons of great photos to post.

What Tickles My Pickle About England is Branston's Pickle! It's this fantastic "sauce" I guess you'd call it. It squeezes out of the bottle looking like a dark, small dog turd and tasting like heaven. And you would be sorely mistaken if you think its just a bunch of mashed up pickles. Oh no! This stuff is absolutely chock full of goodness and strange ingredients, such as: swede, onions, cauliflower, vinegar, tomato, apple, dates, mustard, cilantro, garlic, cinnamon, pepper, cloves and of course a few pickles thrown in for good measure. I'm pretty sure it's a super food so I eat as much of it as I can.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Portland Recap (This Blogs For You Ri-Ri)

The last month or so has blasted by and I have fully neglected my blog. Such great plans I had for my blog, oh the laughs we were going to have. But I found myself internetless and therefore blogless. I will bring you up to date with a quick run down of the last month and a half's events.

We moved out of the basement and into Jenn's townhouse on December 1st. Where we engaged in activities such as this:

And this:
We stayed in Jenn's luxurious spare room
We had a fantastic time, all the time. We played Clue and Rummikub for hours, ate dinner together, drank many bottles of wine, had friends over and tried to force them to play Clue. Jenn and I put on makeup together, did each others hair and traded clothes. We also found time to celebrate Jesus with naughty Christmas cookies:

Then Christmas came and we did Christmasy things like this:
And it snowed! It freakin snowed on Christmas day! We ran outside and our hair looked like this:

Of course after Christmas comes New Years! We played Clue at Jenn's, went to the B.O.G. and then ended up at Jackey's house where we spoke of nonsense and smoked ciggies around the fire place. If you had been there you would have seen this:

Then I turned 32 in January and the tomfoolery began at the Glowing Greens mini golf course. I highly recommend it for all ages and abilities.

After the shark attack we had a party at Jackey and Faye's house. Fun was had by all and I can prove it (click on any picture to enlarge, but do so at your own risk)
Clearly these people are having a good time. Alcohol may have been involved, but who can tell? They're pretty much always like that.

I have the best friends and family in the world. I hope they never lose me.